Just had a rather interesting dream about how a major life event could have gone differently and led my life to be very different than it is now. I hate when my brain tries to second-guess reality and dwell on things I had no control over.

In the dream’s reality I still had memories of this one and was frustrated by the other person having no memory of it and being unaware of the hell he put me through. But that’s understandable, as in this timeline he died.

Dream aside I do know I’d be a very different person if this stuff hadn’t happened the way it did. I might still be in San Francisco, might even still be at Sony (although that’s unlikely), I wouldn’t have adopted Werner, I’d probably not have ever had to develop a real opinion about a certain interest of his, and I’d probably feel way more trapped in general by the circumstances of my life.

I do doubt we’d still be together though and realistically I’d have moved back to seattle anyway since it was something I wanted to do already. It would have just been on a very different time table and under extremely different circumstances.

But in the dream we were still together and I still loved him despite what he’d done, or maybe even more because we’d been able to work through it and he was able to get the help he needed.

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